We weren't able to "do" much while he was here, everyone is broke these days, but what we did do was far better than any outing could have been. We talked. Sometimes about things of importance, but mostly about nothing at all. Typical Father/Daughter stuff. He started teaching me how to play guitar. He played and sang for me and, much to my delight, he and I have alot of striking similarities. I know where I get my music from. I know where I get my eyes and nose from. I know where I came from. I'm starting to realize a few things about my family that I had always kind of thought. Its nice to have validation.
I already knew that I had other siblings, but now I'm starting to have a better relationship with some of them.
Things are falling in to place.
So why am I having such a hard time?
I'm struggling with my health. I have a deep set exhaustion that vitamins and caffeine don't touch. My hair is falling out in handfulls. I LOOK tired, like I've suddenly aged 10 years.
I'm bingeing more. I KNOW I'm diabetic, but do nothing about it.
I DON'T know why. Or how to stop.
I want someone to stay here with me. Someone that can occupy my days. I didn't do this when I had my family here for a few days. There was always something to do. Someone to talk to. I don't have that now.
Anyway....I'll post some pics of the visit.
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| Bryce, Dad, Me and Shane right after they got there |
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| Dad being silly |
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| hanging out in the kitchen |
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| Add caption |
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| he loves PaPa |
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| Me playing Dad's guitar |
do you have yahoo messenger? I will send you my contact info... when you need to talk I am there
ReplyDeleteI will also send you my phone number YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! let me know how I can help!!!
yes, i have IM screen name is trishashipman01
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you. I don't know what my damn deal is. I can tell anyone on earth how to fix their problems, but when it comes to me...nothing. I KNOW how to solve every problem I have...I just...don't? idk. Its like everyone but me is good enough for my advice.
f!@# it.
I think it is wonderful that you met with your father and got the chance to talk and learn more about where you came from.
ReplyDeleteI know I am a complete stranger but I want you to know that I am thinking of you and will say a prayer for you to have strength to get through this. It will pass. I have felt like this more times than I count - well not the hair falling out thing but I am still experiencing severe itching and dont know if it is caused from all the stress in my life. I am waiting for more tests. But my moods are also very hormonal too and at times it seems like i have to fight like hell from slipping into a dark hole. But then it passes and things will get better. I just wish I could keep it at the point where there are more good days than bad. My marriage is on the brink and its the second time around. OMG - I dont want to make you feel worse. Sorry! I just want you to know that I can relate and even though Im tons of miles away, I am thinking of you.
K You're not making me feel worse. I would much rather hear about what is going on with you, than to deal with what's going on with me...
ReplyDeleteMaybe the itching is in fact hives caused by stress? You haven't changed laundry detergent or fabric softener...or anything along those lines have you?