Man, what a day. Its hard to focus on what is going right in life when everywhere I look things are going horribly wrong. Its not enough that we had a HUGE falling out with Shane's family, finding work is proving to be a futile attempt, and now, to top it ALL off, the power train in our only vehicle snapped in two. I realize the power train is a complex series of parts, I don't speak car lingo, i just know its something to do with that. Shane's more the mechanic than I am....and even HE can't fix it. So, what to do? Yeah, I THINK its covered under warranty, but we can't make our deductable....so we wait, and think. He got a ride with someone today and tomorrow (to work) but I don't know how long that will hold up.
I'm tired of everything going so horribly wrong. I need SOMETHING to go right.
And if one more person has the balls to say, "at least you have your health", I'm gonna end up in jail for assault. I do NOT have my health. It went sideways too.
And I'm really tired of pretending that I'm ok in front of everyone. I am SICK and TIRED of everyone thinking I have all the answers. that I can fix everything. I CAN'T. I can't solve all of our problems with the wiggle of my nose...or cross my arms in front of my chest, nod my head and POOF! all better.
I wear alot of hats these days: wife, mommy, dr, handyman but you know what? I'm sick of being the one that carries everyone. I'm sick of being the one that tells everyone else that its going to be ok. Ya know what? ITS NOT GOING TO BE OK.
I think Im gonna just go scream now.
I know that things have gone all awry... Iwish I could give you some great words of wisdom that put you at peace...but i know when you are the thick of it , it feels like it will never change... I won't tell you things are ok ... but i will tell you they will get better... in time.. IN the mean time...you have an ear and support here.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'm ok I guess I just needed to throw a bit of a tantrum and get it out. I'm one of those that kind of bottles things up. At any rate, you are right, things will get better eventually. they have to.
ReplyDeleteSometimes venting is the best thing ... and blogs are the perfect place for it :)
ReplyDeletePraying that your situation will change and I am sending you all of my good positive thoughts :)