This week my inlaws have been here. Let me give you a bit of history to help you understand why I'm pulling out my hair....
My MIL is a nice lady most of the time, but she's a total busy body that feels the need to take things over when she visits. She takes over cooking, cleaning and redecorating. Normally I wouldn't mind the extra hand, but by day 2 I'm ready to have a breakdown. She usually always brings treats (cookies, candy, high fat/cal foods) which i should be able to turn down, but I always get stressed out when she comes and I'm a total emotional binger. So the peanut butter rice crispy treats that shes made 2 batches of? Yeah, I ate em. The packs of chocolate chip cookies she brought? Uh...yeah those too.
I had been doing so well losing the weight on my own (was trying to get down to a nicer number before the hCG diet) and even got within 1lb of my goal weight and now its blown all to hell. I've tried asking nicely for her not to bring these things, I've tried hiding the ingredients so she can't make them...nothing works. I feel like I'm doomed, and I just brace for the impact on the scale. Why is food such a struggle for me? What is it about food that makes us run for comfort?! Its an inanimate object that can't tell us things are going to get better, it doesnt solve any of my problems...it just tastes good (though ive been known to binge on things that I didn't particularly like just because it was there). Needless to say, I'm completely frustrated.
I'm ordering the drops on Friday, hopefully they wont take too long to get here. I am so excited about this I could burst. this is the first real thing that I've ever done "just for me". I always do things for other people, but never for me and I have to say that part of me feels a bit guilty. Like maybe I should spend the money on something for the hubby or my son. But maybe me losing enough weight to get me to the point where I'm able to get up and down on the floor to play would be a step in the right direction.
I've been lurking on another blogg for a bit (hi sharr :) ) and its nice to see someone that isn't an infomercial for hcg documenting progress. (ok it seems really creepy that I've been lurking but I was never sure how to break the ice....)
Anyway, more tomorrow....gotta go hide more food from my MIL....
LOL I am such a lurker too... It sounds creepy only because there is a stigma with L words... (Well that is the story I am giving). I am not sure how you found MY blog, but I am ever grateful to have someone out there reading :) .
ReplyDeleteI totally understand the mother/mother in law thing. We will have to talk about my ex she- devil another time. ;)
Now as far as feeling guilty... here is the best thing I can tell you...
DON'T!!!!
I can tell you are a caregiver... it is very evident you have a tremendous heart for your family ... But here is a reminder ... you can't care for your family if you aren't healthy.
Get healthy FOR YOU! As you continue in your journey (and I hope as I continue in mine) that we will both find the confidence to put our foot down in the areas that need stomped!
Until that time , maybe your husband should tell his mom how much he appreciates her as a mom and her generosity and hospitable heart by making snacks and cookies... but he is supporting YOU in your decision to get healthy, and maybe she could work with you to find healthier alternatives :)
I know I know it all looks good in text ... but reality is another story...
keep us posted on how it goes :)
and I post comments on my blog too in response to what comments are left for me :)
Strangely enough it was through Rainey's, which I found linked to one of the hcg sites. I was up late one night and browsing and that's how I found ya.
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