For some reason I really just feel like I"m in a funk today. There really isn't anything wrong, I just feel like crawling back in my bed and sacking out. Maybe its the weather...or maybe its just hormones. Who knows.
Its 11am and I feel like I've already had a full day. 4 loads of laundry done, baseboards bleached, rugs vacuumed, dishes done, living room cleaned. I still lack my bedroom, Bryce's room and finish the bathroom. I don't mind being so busy, but have you ever tried to fold laundry while your adorable 10month old pile drives your folded stuff? lol
Bryce is fascinated with cars these days. He loves to "drive" them around and make car sounds. He gets so serious when he plays with them, like its the most important and amazing thing in the world. Man I wish I could feel like that somedays. I mean of course I feel like that about my family, but I mean feeling like that about simple "things". He's an amazingly smart little guy, and he's growing up way too fast. But then again, they always do, dont' they? I know David and Jenna sure have (Mommy loves you, kiddos)
This weekend wasn't too bad. Saturday we hung out at the house, played with the dogs and just kinda lazed around. Sunday we went with Shane to the disc golf park so that he could get in the little stream thing and wade for lost discs. Mind you this water was FREEZING cold, but there was my crazy husband in a pair of shorts and sleeveless shirt, splashing through the thigh high water. At one point he got completely wet (head and all). I didn't find out until he came out of the woody area what had happened, and why I heard a humongous splash. Apparently while he was wading something brushed up against his leg under water. He immediately thought snake (though its waaaay too cold for them to be out) and he jumped up into a tree that hangs about 5 feet over the water. Since his feet were all wet, he of course slipped out of said tree and fell all the way down into the water. (tee hee!) He came out of there with bruises, scrapes and scratches...and I was laughing my butt off because I TOLD him that was a bad idea. No one listens to me. :)
We've decided to just have Thanksgiving by ourselves this year. I"m going to cook and we're going to just relax. Its not that I am against having extended family around, its just that Christmas is already taken over because we are spending Christmas Eve and Day at his grandmother's place. It will be nice to just be us.
I"m struggling because I would really like to see MY family for a holiday. Its been 10+ years since I've gotten to spend any time with my family and its really bothering me. When I was with my first husband we always spent holidays with his family, and I really don't want it to be like that now. I haven't seen 3 of my sisters in 10 years, and 2 of my sisters I haven't even met in person yet. Same with my brothers. One I've never met, one I haven't seen in 10 years. Family isn't supposed to be like that, and I'm done living like that. Next year its my family time.
I'm really wanting to go back to work now too. I guess "wanting" isn't really the right word, its more "needing" and feeling guilty because I"m not. Yes, I've gotten to spend a wonderful year taking care of my little guy, but we are struggling so much financially that it is awful. I"m tired of worrying about money. I'm tired of not knowing how or when we're going to be able to take care of things. I just really need to suck it up and get a job. We aren't going to put Bryce in daycare though. I'm going to work nights and watch Bryce during the day and Shane is going to work days and watch Bryce at night. Putting him in daycare would be pointless as it would take up my entire paycheck and we wouldn't get anywhere. I don't really care what the job even is. Just as long as its something.
Other than all of the above, there really isn't much going on lately. Same stuff, different day.
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