Irony

Life is nothing if not ironic.  Full of ups and downs that change so quickly you almost get sick.  That's how my life is anyway.  One day you wake up and realize that 10 years have gone by and you're a Momma, a wife, and a whole lot older.  And yet, even though I've grown up I am still realizing that I have a whole lot more growing to do.  Growing to become a better Momma.  Growing to become a better wife.  Growing to become a better Christian.  I'm not perfect at any of these things, but I do admit I am a whole lot better than I was.  I am realizing that even at the age of 29 I am still learning things I should have always known.  Who I am, where I come from...who my parents really are.  I recently found my biological father  (through facebook of all places) and it has opened up alot of questions I thought I would never get to ask.  I've learned things about people in my family that I never would have guessed.  I have 2 new sisters and a brother that I know nothing about, but have been trying to learn in a desperate attempt.  I'm 29 years old and still have this secret underlying need to be Daddy's little girl.  Like I could make up for all the wasted years when he could have been teaching me things that I should know like how to play guitar, how to sing professionally...things that I have the raw materials for, but never knew where that came from.  Then, I still fall back on what I do know.  A man that raised me, a mother that for all intents and purposes was a good mom when we were young.  Where do I fit in to all of this?  Then, when I finally wrap my head around all of that, I get blindsided with my mother's side of the family trying to reconnect.  I guess I still have a great grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins that I know nothing about.  How do I reintegrate them into my life?
So many questions with so few answers.  Its hard to organize all of my thoughts because everything that I thought I knew about who I was is wrong.  I guess the only thing I can do is start over.  Reconnect with those that want to, disconnect with those that don't.  At least for a while until I figure all of this out.